Missing in action OR should I say, missing because of action!

I must say I have really been struggling the last 7-10 days. Feeling resentful about my running, missing chocolate, missing bread [crusty Perry's bakery french stick aaahhhhhh so nice], missing vintage tasty cheese. I have given in on occasion & given up on training once or twice & that has showed up in my weekly stats.
What gets me down & makes me want to give in or give up is not being able to burn up as many calories as I see others doing. I know all too well I should not compare but I feel like what is the point of all this hard work!!!!!!
I see others who are 15-20 kgs less than me burning more & others who are 20, 30, 40kgs more than me also burning more than me. You could put it down to intensity but I am working beyond zone 3 [highest on my HRM] for much of my workout with sweat dripping [ewwwww gross sorry] & yet I don't see the same numbers. I did some research into cortisol levels. Of course I'm on immunosuppressants so I am definitely affected. Bummer.
So I guess to get similar results I need to add more and more hours which doesn't feel very fair, I am already so busy!! I do a minimum of 30min per day but most days 60mins. Twice per week now I am doing back to back classes at the gym too. Its annoying & frustrating & definitely makes me feel like it is going to take longer to get to my goal which then gets me thinking about all those nice things I am missing out on in the meantime. And so it goes on.
I've read it is very hard to lose weight on the drugs that I am on but I've proven that it can be done. So I am proud of that. Lots of hours, high intensity & counting calories and its all possible. And 14kgs is nothing to sneeze at but I really want another 10 and FAST!!!!!! I really would like things to move faster but this is the way it is going to be so c'est la vie.
Having some blue days is pretty normal on this type of journey so I have been told. I know I am doing well & feel good that I am working hard & I don't need anyone to prop me up. I really just wanted to record that it is not all easy, not all roses and not all as you expect some weeks. So things have slowed a bit but thats ok. I am not deterred.
Its owards & upwards and at least for lent anyway, I'm giving up all those nice things that I would like to be chomping on right now. Instead, right now I'm off to do some running time trials on my tready. I already did my training today but I wanna get these done too.
K xo