I've sorta been hibernating & I haven't. Perhaps a mini writing & creating hibernation.
How magnificent are these beautiful winter Magnolias near my house? I always thought I loved winter, but the truth I'm discovering, is that my house is so very cold during the winter months. Too cold to work in the studio at night when the house sleeps, too cold to even work IN the house for very long at night. I long for gas heating here. Its all kind of depressing. I don't think I would make a very good Eskimo. I've brought some art supplies in so I can dabble...
I have had lots of things I have wanted to do here but I've either been sidetracked doing other things or just not inspired [or too cold] to do them. Lately I have had a bit of an adjustment period.
I guess it started when I pushed so many things aside to invest in a bigtime eCourse with Lilla Rogers. It was an amazing experience. But then it finished & I had to pick up some pieces of life & pack them back together. Get them back in order. I think I also needed time to process the whirlwind that was the course & what I wanted to take away from it & what I needed to discard. I talked alot about that in a previous post. Well its still stirring in my brain. Its taken a while to unscramble.
Next we wrapped up school holidays & spent some quality time with my kids. I had to get my twinnies ready for starting school for the very first time this term. I got myself back to the gym too.
The kids recieved 7 party invitations in the first few weeks of term & there has been lots of gift buying & party attending with more to come. The school concert is looming & there has been t-shirt & leggins buying, finding umbrellas & buying tickets for grandparents. There's been passport applications for 7 people & oh my what an expensive & time consuming process that has been! - but exciting!
Invitations for reading with kids at school were offered this term & I've taken up 2 mornings each week. And I was invited by the reception teachers to work each week with the class this term & create a special art project. Super exciting.
I've also been doing a very gentle beautifully paced playful online eCourse with Sarah Ahearn - an absolute blessing after the intense course I previously did.
So I got a bit busy and weeks whizzed by.
While all this was happening, I came to realize that I have been feeling a bit lost without my twins here. The dynamics have changed. The house is quiet & I am missing them. Its just me & Buddy. We are having a beautiful time together but there has been a life shift for us. He's lost playmates. I've lost the opportunity to grab an hour here or there during the day while they keep each other company & I can work away listening to their giggling, chattering & squabbling!
I took Buddy into the new Apple store in Adelaide. He went around playing all the iPads, turning them all off & neatening up the place by pushing in all the seats. Ha!
It occurred to me that I have been piling on so many more things into my day. Not housework or art or other really need/want things but meaningless things like shopping, running errands, visting here & there just to avoid being at home & leaning into the quietness of our new environment. Its been a real adjustment & I've been feeling strange about it all. Empty nest feelings maybe. The explosion of babies happened & now they are all growing so fast & heading to school so quick one after the other too.
And while I was missing my spirited & crazypants twinnies & filling the void with 'stuff' I recognised I have been missing doing my own painting & blog writing. I have been wanting to catch up on my Living-to-100 posts & record other creative life things on my blog that I have had in my head but not found or made the time.
So I was getting a bit ancy, frustrated & impatient. I got fidgety.
Then I had a bad fall & got a cold & lost my voice. Sob!
Ok universe, thank you, I'm listening. Same old patterns......
No time like when you are injured for things to become crystal clear.
I've been listening to a number of podcasts & online interviews with all sorts of creative types while I was struggling with mobility. Its been reaffirming things I have thought or known but hadn't given creedance to/wasn't ready to HEAR them and/or ready to put into practice very well. Lots of good information on living creatively + work/life balance.
In my private life, I need to focus on what is important, let go of the things that are not. Don't stress or try to control so much that is out of my control. Enjoy the small things & each stage of our young growing family.
After my previous intense course, I finished up feeling a bit lost in my creative life & not knowing what to do next. There's lots of great things that can spiral UP by taking courses but I've learned there can be a down side too & you can get sidetracked & confused. Well I did. A few weeks down the track & I'm less frantic. I know that art is a natural part of who I am. Its not going anywhere. Its not a race. I can learn all sorts along my journey & make as many mistakes [of which there aren't actually any!] along the way. If its meant to be, it will be. I don't need to conform, I can do what comes easily & naturally. I shouldn't try rushing things. I just need to make lots of art & enjoy the process. Its that that brings the greatest joy.
And in actual fact, you can't separate private life & creative life because its just one life. A creative life. I may be reading to kids at school but as they read their books I'm checking out the illustrations & getting ideas. As I prepare dinner & I have music on, some words jump out at me & they inspire a future art piece. There is no pressure right now to making a living out of it. I want to in the future but right now I have so much I want to explore. I'm thirsty & I have direction but I don't quite think I am yet making the art that I want to make.
So, ever so slowly, the old me is returning. I'm reacquainting my brain with all the arty things I used to think about making earlier this year. I'm ready to hash out some of the creative themes that have been incubating away in my head these past couple of months & become more clear to me these last few weeks. Cannot wait to share.
And the timing is good, its all coming together. I'm very much on the mend now [back wise], just trying to clear a stupid head cold & taking time not to push too much or be too impatient. But I feel like I'm back thinking like my old self. I have some new methods I want to practise & I've just started painting again.
In the last month or so I have started no less than 12 draft blog posts on all sorts of things & I am looking forward to finishing those off too now my thoughts are a bit more unscrambled & the path ahead looks a little more clear. I never thought I'd be one to say this but I'm hoping some warmer weather comes soon so I can more freely blog at night & make more lovely fun art. I notice the spring blossoms are popping up everywhere near my house so fingers crossed some warmth is only weeks away. I have a big spring to do list post coming up!
Thanks for reading my ramblings. I hope you've enjoyed some random sketches & & bits of work that I've managed to squueze in over the last couple of months.
So how have you been going? What thoughts are occupying your brain right now? Go on, tell me, I promise not to tell a soul!